Friday, August 29, 2008

Sick of waiting

Three days ago.

That was when I was supposed to leave this place for six glorious days and spend it instead in my favorite place....California (more specifically with my APU people). But no... I let my parents talk me out of it. You can't ditch the first week of classes, a whole week off work, no one to go with, driving 24 straight hours? And by the time I finally gave up the idea of road tripping was too late to fly.
I could have flown. I can pick up my crap from storage some other time. I missed the best time as far as school and work are concerned. What was I holding out for?
It frustrates me so much to think that instead of sitting here in my room contemplating whether to do homework or watch tv online-I could have been hanging out with the old gang. I could be playing tennis with Rich, setting up with Katie, playing guitar hero with Teagan, hopping up and down with Janette, boarding with Marsha, watching OTH with Alan, talking with Matt, yelling at Jamari, questioning Ruth about my mysterious bug bites, interrogating Jen about her new bf.....the list goes on.
But no, I'm sitting here in Des Moines, Iowa....wishing desperately that APU had a culinary program and that tuition wouldn't be so dang expensive!!

How long will I feel this way? My whole being does not want to be here but what can I do? I'm stranded.
I have no other option but to wait 2 whole years until I can finally move back to CA. But by then, won't everyone be gone anyways? Will I still love it?
And how many times will I truly be able to visit?
I wish I knew all the answers.........