With power comes responsibility

Ever since turning 21, I’ve been given a lot of responsibilities. Way more than I ever could have imagined in fact. I had no intention of ever becoming a manager, and it never crossed my mind even when I constantly joked with Matt that I could take over the whole store. So it’s been over a month since I’ve been one of the managers at our store. I feel like I’m just scratching the surface in everything I need to know. I want to know how to do every single aspect of the store and I wish I knew it all already! I grow impatient with myself just as much (if not more) than Ryan already does. So I guess I was doing a pretty good job working over in the café and, when Laura quit, Josh asked me to take over her position as well. So goodbye market side of the store- hello café! I live there six days a week now. It is a completely different atmosphere and I like it at times (when Ryan or one of the chefs isn’t yelling at me or I’m not screwing up orders). On Thursday I ran registers in the café for the first time and boy was it stressful! I had constant lines of like 10 people and I’d take their order (pretty efficiently) but then wouldn’t have time to pour their glasses of wine so they’d get that really late or a smoothie for example. Ryan was managing that night and he had to come over to help us for awhile and he kept getting mad at me saying “strike one” or “strike two.” I gave up trying to be perfect a long time ago so I was just like “is it possible to strike out in one night?” Oh this was also the night I got in trouble for Tuesday night when I locked the doors five minutes early and Debra ratted on me. Ryan said that if it happens again I’ll no longer be a manager. I tried to explain the situation but as Matt told me later on, not the best idea. I guess Ryan doesn’t like to hear explanations; he just wants to hear “okay it won’t happen again.” And Matt was also telling me that when he came back from Campbell’s that people were out to get him and he related that to how Debra is trying to sabotage my manager job. I feel like I’m bending over backwards for this place and it is never good enough for them. There are moments when I feel accomplished and proud and there are other moments that often outweigh the good ones, when I just want to bawl and walk out. And in a few short days I will not only have all this loveliness but also summer school to deal with. Let’s pray for survival, shall we.